Creativity Commons

”Gaslighting" Accusation: Why Trolls Win When You Defend Yourself

Trolls cry "gaslighting" to derail defense, flip victim/offender, and provoke. Recognizing this DARVO tactic is key. The best response is to disengage and block to protect your peace.

T Jackson

11 Jan 2026 — 4 min read

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Abstract

Trolls cry "gaslighting" to derail defense, flip victim/offender, and provoke. Recognizing this DARVO tactic is key. The best response is to disengage and block to protect your peace.

Have you ever tried to explain your point in the comment section of a post? Then, someone accuses you of something? This happened to me recently on a social media post. A troll came after my post. When I tried to defend myself, they dismissed me. They said, "I was gaslighting them.” Gaslighting is a type of psychological trick. One person tries to make another doubt what they see or feel. For example, if someone says, "You're always overreacting" when you share a concern, they might be trying to make you doubt your feelings. But I was only trying to clarify things. I took the bait. I kept defending myself, but they made the accusation twice. I felt frustrated and angry. This experience is common. Bad-faith trolls use a playbook to win arguments. They rely on tricks instead of logic.

This is why I have not posted in a few days. I needed time to regroup and calm down. It's important to acknowledge that sometimes taking a step back is necessary. Taking breaks in such situations is not only normal but also strength building.

Trolls misuse serious terms like "gaslighting" for strategic reasons. By examining four of their primary tactics, we can see the clear pattern in my frustrating exchange. First, they weaponize an accusation. "Gaslighting" is a powerful word that describes psychological abuse. By throwing it at me, the troll changed the argument in an instant. It was no longer about the topic; it was about trying to paint me as an abuser. For instance, imagine you're in an online book club, presenting your thoughts on a novel. If someone disagrees with your view and accuses you of gaslighting, it can cloud your careful analysis. Someone framed my comments as manipulation. This is a classic "poison the well" move, making anything I said afterward seem guilty.

Second, trolls use this accusation to switch the roles of victim and offender. This tactic experts call DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. The troll started the argument. After I responded, they shouted "gaslighting." They acted like I was the one being cruel. I was defending my post, but without warning, I had to prove I wasn’t a manipulator rather than discuss my original point. This trick aims to confuse others and put the real defender at a disadvantage.

Third, their goal is to invalidate and silence. The troll said "gaslighting" more than once. They meant that your view isn’t wrong; they consider it evil and believe that people shouldn’t hear it. They completely dismissed anything I said. The troll accused me of having an illegitimate voice, which ended the conversation. This tactic wipes out any evidence or reasoning the defender has before they can share it. It does this by framing everything as part of the "abuse."

Finally, the tactic aims to provoke an emotional reaction. And it worked on me. Accusing someone of emotional abuse without a basis causes deep distress. I felt angry and flustered as I kept trying harder to prove my honesty. This is exactly what the troll wanted. They could then point to that as "proof" that I was guilty. It was a perfect trap. Staying calm made me look cold and manipulative. But showing emotion would make me seem unhinged, a no-win situation.

So, how do you spot this pattern? Look for the signs I experienced. The accusation appears instead of engagement. The troll didn’t address my comments or details; they deflected with "gaslighting." It also flips the script, as the person who attacked first claims victimhood the moment you push back. It acts as a thought-terminating cliché, a buzzword used like a club to end all discussion rather than to describe real behavior.

Recognizing this pattern unveils the best way to handle the situation: disengage and block. My mistake was taking the bait. Here’s a detailed guide to assist you in crafting an effective response:

Pause: When you notice the pattern, stop and take a moment to gather your thoughts.
Breathe: Re-center yourself and maintain your composure.
Recognize: Remember that these tactics are not about finding the truth or solving anything.
Respond: Only if needed, and say in a calm manner, "You are misusing that term to avoid the topic," to call out the behavior.
Block: Delete their comments and block the troll right away to protect your energy.

Knowing you cannot reason or present enough evidence to someone using bad-faith tactics is empowering. They aim to consume your time and energy. Once you identify the weaponized word, the reversed roles, and the repetition, stop engaging in their game.

The most powerful response is to state with composure, "You are misusing that term to avoid the topic," and then block them. Blocking is not a sign of defeat. It is an act of control. It protects your peace, denies the troll the reaction they crave, and takes away their platform to harass you in front of others. By refusing to fight on their twisted battlefield, you win the most important thing: your own time and energy. Remember, in the digital world, your attention is the prize. Don’t let a troll steal it.

I learned my lesson: the toll of a troll. Delete the troll comments and block them. Take time for yourself and surround yourself with those who support you with honest dialogue. Deleting and blocking are not actions of defiance but steps toward preserving your peace.